You Know

You know, its not easy,
standing here, facing all of you,
smiling with distant, pleasant temerity,
when inside, I'm screaming endlessly,
and in my minds eye I see it,
my lungs bursting with serene agony,
spilling gore upon you all,
perhaps the last message sent,
delivered in a shattered bottle by infested seas.
My screams could tear apart my throat,
but for the reality that they are mute.
I'm not surprised that none of you hear it.
I wonder often, as my laugh echoes in my soul,
do you see my eyes?
Can you see me dying, writhing in a pool of pain?
Darkness creeps within the light,
as my smile fades when no eyes open.
I havent expected anyone to see this red flag,
I just thought that you all would understand...
because, you know, its just not easy.

C.S.